Madeleine Tavares: Twenty Rewarding Years with Stephen Ministry

By Maggie FitzRoy

Madeleine Tavares used to find that people liked to talk to her about their troubles. All the time.

A Christ Church parishioner, she wasn’t sure why, but since she enjoyed listening and realized she must be good at it, she volunteered to become a Stephen Minister at the church in 2005.

Since the church was just launching the ministry that year, Madeleine was in the first small group of lay people to be trained to offer pastoral care through the nondenominational, worldwide Christian Ministry. This year she celebrates twenty years with the ministry that is celebrating its 50th anniversary.

“Stephen Ministers are not psychologists or even counselors,” Madeleine says. “They are people with whom you can share your deepest thoughts confidentially. Stephen Ministers help you feel better through listening and kindness.”

Kenneth Haugk, a clinical psychologist and pastor, founded Stephen Ministries in St. Louis in 1975 after realizing he needed help to be able to bring Christ’s love to all the people in his congregation suffering from grief, job loss, anxiety, family troubles, and other problems. The ministry grew and today more than 13,000 congregations are enrolled in the nonprofit organization.

Stephen Minister volunteers go through fifty hours of training before becoming caregivers.

Shortly after becoming a caregiver, Madeleine went through many hours of additional training to become a Stephen Minister Trainer to help grow the ministry at Christ Church. She has lost count of how many people she has trained to become Stephen Ministers over the years. Trainees commit to two years, but many continue to volunteer long after, she says, Today the church has 18 active Stephen Ministers—and is looking for more. A training class is planned for September.

When a parishioner requests a Stephen Minister, the process of matching caregiver and receiver is completely confidential, Madeleine says. Caregiver and receiver typically meet once a week for about an hour. The church’s Stephen Ministers meet every other week in small groups to discuss how their relationships are going, without naming names or revealing personal information. Stephen Ministers do not know the names of each other’s receivers.

“The fifty hours of training that you get to become a Stephen Minister changes you in a good way,” Madeleine says. “It trains you to be a really good person. It opens your eyes to things you’ve not considered before.”

Caregivers and receivers meet as long as needed “and you often know when someone is ready to move along when they start to ask you about yourself,” she says.

It can be very rewarding. “God is with you when you are caring for a care receiver,” Madeleine says. “You find things coming out of your mouth that you had no idea would have.”

For information about becoming a Stephen Minister, email Madeleine at [email protected].